Hi, I'm Joelle
I'm a survivor, author, speaker, and coach
Thank you for visiting my site. I'm happy you're here!
At the age of 22, fresh out of Harvard, I was awarded a travel grant and set off to India on a spiritual quest. That trip changed my life—but not in the way I expected.
In Rishikesh, the spiritual home of yoga, I met an older man who became my teacher, then my romantic partner and later, my husband. But it was not a match of equals. He controlled me emotionally, financially, socially, and physically until I finally broke free eighteen years later.
Covert, narcissistic abuse is insidious and deliberately confusing. If I hadn’t experienced such deep deception and manipulation, I wouldn’t have imagined it was possible.
When I awoke from my living nightmare, I knew I would someday turn to my love of writing and tell my story. Not only to regain agency but also to expose one-to-one cults and narcissistic abuse and help others with similar experiences feel less alone.
My memoir, The Secret Practice: Eighteen Years on the Dark Side of Yoga, was published in August 2023, ten years after my divorce.
My experience taught me not to trust “gurus”—experts who tell you what’s wrong, then sell you the solution. Spirituality exists not primarily for self-development, but to bring people together in helpful and loving relationships, for the common good of the planet we call home.
Today I live in freedom, grateful every day for my second chance.
The Secret Practice: Eighteen Years on the Dark Side of Yoga is a cautionary coming-of-age tale about surviving coercive control and spiritual abuse.
Winner Spring 2024 Pencraft Best Book Award - Memoir
Honorable Mention 2024 Readers' Favorite Book Award - Religion/Philosophy
Finalist 2024 National Indie Excellence Awards - Relationships
Finalist 2024 Independent Author Network Best Book Awards -True Story
The Secret Practice Videobook
Narrated by Daniella Mestyanek Young - watch or listen to her read as she knits
Praise for The Secret Practice
This book offers readers a fascinating look at the sinister threads that can be knotted into spiritual yoga practice and the discernment we all need when seeking personal transformation.
—Melanie Brooks, author of A Hard Silence and Writing Hard Stories
This book was phenomenal! A really good example of how someone can walk themselves into a cult, or into coercive control, with “their eyes wide open”.
—Daniella Mestyanek Young, cult scholar and author of Uncultured and UnAmerican
Tamraz’s memoir is so timely and so significant. She… shows the reader what it took to transform herself, escape her marriage, and rediscover her true identity.
—Maria Daversa, clinical psychologist and author of Sweet Baby Mine
Such an important story...a captivating and hopeful story of growth and self-awareness"
—Jean Brown, of SEEK Safely, co-author of This Sweet Life
An intriguing and harrowing memoir that sheds light on the darker aspects of spiritual pursuit and manipulation.
—Romuald Demo, Readers' Favorite, 5-star review
A dramatic depiction of masterful mind-control practiced on a vulnerable party.
—Kirkus Reviews
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There's power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your own unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there's grace in being willing to know and hear others.
-Michelle Obama, Becoming