When I was 22, I traveled to India on a spiritual quest. In Rishikesh, the home of yoga, I met an alluring older man who introduced himself as Swami Arun. He offered to teach me an authentic, secret yoga practice, transmitted from master to student over the centuries. I fell under his spell.
Within three months we became romantically involved. Two years later we were married.
I sensed early on that something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I placed total trust in him and ended up being controlled emotionally, financially, socially, and physically for eighteen years.
When I regained my freedom, I struggled to understand and integrate what had happened to me. Covert abuse is insidious and deliberately confusing. Yet I know my experience is not unique, and I wrote my memoir to help others feel less alone.
Living up close to evil made me see life differently. The Secret Practice is both a cautionary tale about spiritual searches and a coming-of-age story.
"Tamraz’s memoir is so timely and so significant. She… shows the reader what it took to transform herself, escape her marriage, and rediscover her true identity."
—Maria Daversa, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and debut author of Sweet Baby Mine
"such an important story...
a captivating and hopeful story of growth and self-awareness"
—Jean Brown, of SEEK Safely, author of This Sweet Life
“a dramatic depiction of masterful mind-control practiced on a vulnerable party”
—Kirkus Reviews
"This book offers readers a fascinating look at the sinister threads that can be knotted into spiritual yoga practice and the discernment we all need when seeking personal transformation."
—Melanie Brooks, author of A Hard Silence and Writing Hard Stories
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Sharing my story, exposing and demystifying cults and mind control
Jill and I have known each other online for several years, and she was one of my key beta readers. We had a wonderful conversation about the writing and publishing process and what it takes to bring a very personal story into the world.
Michelle Obama, Becoming