Hi, I'm Joelle
I'm a survivor, author, speaker, and coach
I discovered the power of writing in an eighth-grade English class when my teacher handed out composition books and asked us to record our thoughts and experiences. My journal and I became inseparable, and I once wrote an entry from a changing room at Bloomingdale’s in New York City. Writing gave me the space to process my feelings.
By the time I reached university, I was idealistic and wanted to change the world. I majored in social studies and wrote my senior thesis on Gandhi-inspired social activism in India. Winning an unexpected grant to travel and explore the country's spiritual heritage after graduation felt like a gift from destiny.
That trip changed my life—but not in the way I intended.
I met the man who became my spiritual teacher, then my husband. But it was not a match of equals. I was controlled emotionally, financially, socially, and physically until I awoke many years later. Covert abuse is insidious and deliberately confusing. If I hadn’t experienced such deep deception and manipulation, I wouldn’t have thought it was possible.
I knew I would someday tell my story. Not only to regain the agency I had lost for so long but also to shed light on one-on-one cults and help others who have had similar experiences feel less alone. The Secret Practice: Eighteen Years on the Dark Side of Yoga, published in August 2023, ten years after my divorce, is the result of that mission.
My experience taught me not to trust “gurus”—experts who tell you what’s wrong, then sell you the solution. Spirituality exists not primarily for self-development, but to bring people together in helpful and loving relationships, for the common good of the planet we call home.
Today I live in freedom, grateful every day for my second chance.
The Secret Practice: Eighteen Years on the Dark Side of Yoga is a cautionary coming-of-age tale about the power of belief and surviving mind control and spiritual abuse.
**Winner of a Spring 2024 Pencraft Best Book Award in Memoir
**Finalist of National Indie Excellence Award in Relationships
Praise for The Secret Practice
This book offers readers a fascinating look at the sinister threads that can be knotted into spiritual yoga practice and the discernment we all need when seeking personal transformation.
—Melanie Brooks, author of A Hard Silence and Writing Hard Stories
This book was phenomenal! A really good example of how someone can walk themselves into a cult, or into coercive control, with “their eyes wide open”.
—Daniella Mestyanek Young, cult scholar and author of Uncultured and UnAmerican
Tamraz’s memoir is so timely and so significant. She… shows the reader what it took to transform herself, escape her marriage, and rediscover her true identity.
—Maria Daversa, clinical psychologist and author of Sweet Baby Mine
Such an important story...a captivating and hopeful story of growth and self-awareness"
—Jean Brown, of SEEK Safely, co-author of This Sweet Life
An intriguing and harrowing memoir that sheds light on the darker aspects of spiritual pursuit and manipulation.
—Romuald Demo, Readers' Favorite, 5-star review
A dramatic depiction of masterful mind-control practiced on a vulnerable party.
—Kirkus Reviews
The Secret Practice Videobook
Narrated by Daniella Mestyanek Young - watch or listen to her read as she knits
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There's power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your own unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there's grace in being willing to know and hear others.
-Michelle Obama, Becoming